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| A beautiful moment caught by Kenna while we waited outside at music lessons. |
Fall has truly been a whirlwind. As I write this the beautiful fall leaves are flying madly in what seems to be one last glorious sunny day of fall before the cold really hits, but I've yet to be sure as each new season for us here in Michigan is an adventure, even more so as everyone tells us, the dry warmth is all but normal.
The weather has seemed to reflect perfectly what I've gone through the last few months, sorting, shifting, blowing around seemingly aimlessly, assessing and reassessing, settling in, all in preparation for a change of season, a season that may not be typical or ever happen again.
I started 2 evening classes at Michigan State the last week of August while Clint was away in Seattle finishing up his 3-year Pacific Coast Banking School program. This came after just moving in to our new home 2 days before Clint left for 3 weeks. It was also about a year since all of our ideas about moving to Michigan began in the first place, when Clint was first approached by a headhunter to apply for his position here. In other words, we had been unsettled for a year and I was ready to start being settled! Moving so close to Clint's time away and not much before I started diving into my studies again wasn't ideal for me, but I thought I could just jump in and deal with it. I had done the very same thing a year ago, starting the Anatomy & Physiology series and Microbiology at North Idaho College while Clint was away at PCBS, AND interviewing for MSUFCU. I had done it before, and this time, even though I was taking A&P yet AGAIN (I couldn't complete the 2nd semester of the series and the courses are set up separately at MSU), I was determined to dive in and do my best--a huge part of us moving here was to give me more educational opportunities so I can just complete SOME sort of nursing/health professions program already!
Along with juggling all the kiddos on my own, who also all started their number of activities each afternoon--soccer and swimming every day, music lessons once a week, and gymnastics sprinkled in--I still hadn't completely unpacked but figured that could come in time (and Clint could tackle some of it). Our rental during our home construction left many of our things coated with a nice layer of mold--unpacking what few belongings we had left from Idaho was just not fun or easy. Thankfully we stored most of them in a trailer. Unpacking and completely settling in was the least of my worries. The day to day juggle of which kiddo was going where and how each of them would get there and what they would eat (let alone when any of us would eat) took just about as much study as my physiology reading for the day. What I didn't account for were the extra activities thrown in--we LOVE our schools here, but part of what makes them great is all the parent involvement and connection with the teachers. Even more unexpected was just how many emails I was answering on a daily basis to work out the kids' afterschool activity calendar (soccer, especially!). On top of that Clint's calendar began to fill up with evening work events. The calendar soon became my worst enemy. The best solution: eliminate MY calendar.
So I dropped my classes at MSU. The 2 classes I spent most of the summer fighting to add to my schedule, being so low on the totem pole as a new transfer student. The 2 classes that I HAD to take THIS semester if I was going to apply to the 2013 nursing program--otherwise I would have to wait an entire year with NOTHING to do here until I could apply in 2014. The 2 classes, I have to add, that were only available evenings for me, hence my afterschool dilemmas. Most importantly, the LAST 2 classes I had been waiting 10 years to take so I can apply yet again to a nursing program and hope to actually complete it since I had reached that long-awaited bittersweet time, when my youngest little monkey was finally in first grade.
I knew I didn't have an option--many afternoons neither Clint or I were here to make sure the kids ate, safely rode their bikes to practice and back, do homework, let alone just connect with them after their own busy days as relatively new kids at school here. Not to mention that with all the scheduling, rescheduling, meal prep, final house construction fixes, etc. I wasn't getting much studying done. What really clinched it was when we signed on our house and discovered a big reason why our schools are just so awesome, we pay for it with taxes that just about equal sending all our kiddos to private school. That extra tax surprise also happened to suck up my own school budget. So it made sense to drop and put the family first. It felt right. Before I clicked that final button: "Yes, I'm sure I want to drop all my Fall Semester Classes and Withdraw from the University" I thought I would be able to regroup just fine and find something else to keep me busy--after 3 tries to update my prerequisites nursing obviously just wasn't in my cards, as the last few weeks events seemed to be shouting at me. But clicking that "Yes" ripped my heart right out of me.
Before I go on about myself, I LOVE my family, I LOVE being a mom (most of the time) and both are the greatest honor and blessing in my life. However, I have had this determination since I was a kid to keep my brain going and something in medicine seemed the way to do it (after discovering being an astronaut required joining the Air Force--not appealing to me). First I was hard set on med-school, but soon realized I also wanted a family and, for me, the two were incompatible. Then I thought the Physician Assistant route would be a great option, but marriage and kids took over and the only available programs were too far away and too pricey. The slower route to Nurse Practitioner seemed an ideal option to reach a mid-level practice.
My family life has taken first priority, and it's had a long and ever changing path since first graduating with my Bachelor's while Taylor was in my arms as a baby, but that was okay as being a mother and wife will always come first. I've had many starts and stops along the path to N.P., taking a few nursing pre-requisites in California while Mia was just a baby, then on to a BSN program at Sac State. I was on a roll there until I met my amazing husband and best friend, Clint, deciding after only one semester that the best choice for me and our new soon-to-be family would be to quit, move to Idaho, get married, and focus on our family of toddlers and preschoolers, ages 2, 2, 4 and 4. Needless to say family was my only focus for the next few years, if you could say I was able to focus at all through the endless laundry and story reading. Somewhere in that time I started a few more nursing pre-requisites in Idaho, ready to start from scratch again to meet North Idaho College's nursing requirements. With more kids in tow and a more competitive program, I had a slower time completing the courses, but was just about there last fall, needing only to complete one more course before applying and likely having a sure spot in the 2012 program. I would be there now if we didn't feel the need to move AGAIN, this time across the country to Michigan. Scholastically I thought it would be a smart move, with more options here, and a few Nurse Practitioner programs close by to choose from. I was especially excited about the University of Michigan's Nurse Midwifery/Family Practice program.
As always, things don't happen just as we plan, but in the end, I know it's for the better. As extremely difficult and low this fall was for me, I think I am in a much better spot now, and more importantly, I have learned ooooh so many lessons about myself and my role in this world. I think I've also worked out a much better schooling and career path, as well. In a hasty decision to pick up a job to keep me busy, I started work at a Dialysis clinic. In doing so I came in contact with a Physician Assistant and was inspired to try that route again. With my healthcare experience, now, and way back when I first started nursing school in California, I should be able to apply just fine to a PA program and meet my career goals much more quickly than through the nursing route. I have no delusions, there will likely be many changes along the way, but for now I am content with where I am and where we are at as a family along the road ahead. In the meantime, we continue to figure out this funny land we are in, full of serious school and sport team pride. It's taking some time, but I think we're getting there.
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